Sooo I just got out of a really long relationship and decided to revive my old profile on OkCupid, a dating website. Just to get back in the game.
I suppose it's kind of like eHarmony or Match in that you answers questions and it matches you with people based on your "compatibility." However, because it's free, it's a rather simple (or perhaps erroneous) algorithm.
Anyway, it's weird and kind of creepy, so to make myself feel better, I'm posting my adventures here for your enjoyment.
After you receive your "matches," you can go to their profile, read about them, and look at their photos. Then you can message them. This all well and good, but think about it in reverse.... They look at your photos and then message you.... all sorts of things can go wrong. For instance, today I got this message...
"hey seksi"
...Classy. I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be ironic.
Also, as further proof of the inaccuracy of OkCupid's matching program, here's a fellow who messaged me a few days ago...
I'm sure he's a very nice young man. But if you know me at all, not exactly my type. (I mean, unless it's Comic-Con or the release of the latest Harry Potter film.)
Anyway... stay tuned for more of my adventures in the internet dating scene!
After seeing these two words vastly misused in the past week, I figured I should clear things up.
"That" is part of a restrictive clause. This means that you HAVE to have the clause or the sentence won't make sense. For example... Cats THAT are black are popular during Halloween.
"Which" is not restrictive, so you can add it onto the end of a complete sentence. For example... Black cats are popular at Halloween, WHICH is why I'm decorating my house with them.
Those aren't very good examples, but you get my point.
Sooooo if you NEED the clause, use "that." If not, use "which."
You're welcome, world.
1. If you do something wrong, everything will go to shit in the worst way possible. If you don't do your homework, your parents will be eaten by a giant slug, for instance. Or something.
2. If a guy likes you, he's probably a vampire/serial killer/zombie/giant killer slug
3. Both "slayed" and "slew" are appropriate to to use as the past tense of "slay."
4. All problems can be solved by a working cell phone.
First of all, I am extremely rational and don't believe in anything that can't be proved by science. This includes ghosts, poltergeists, and all other supernatural activity.
Well....technically.
Despite not technically "believing" in such nonsense, it still kinda freaks me out. For instance... There is this closet in my apartment where the air conditioner lives. The air conditioner and its ghost. I'm pretty certain. Sometimes the air conditioner makes a strange knocking noise like it's trying to get my attention. Obviously ghost-like. Plus, under the closet, there is this creepy grate where all the air for the air conditioner goes. And sometimes my cat will sit there for hours and stare into it, seeing things that I obviously can't.
Honestly, what more proof do you need? Obviously haunted.
One of the scariest movies I've ever seen is Paranormal Activity, in which they learn that the more attention you pay to a supernatural entity, the stronger it becomes. So I'm pretty sure this post might enable it to develop a corporeal form and slay me in the middle of the night. In which case, I want to be made into a death diamond. Look it up if you don't know what it is, because I'm coming back to haunt your ass if they bury me. I mean it.
But, of course, I don't believe in ghosts =)
